Turn Resolutions into Decisions

Have you already given up on your New Year’s resolutions?

It turns out that you are not alone. Only 8% of people who make resolutions at the start of the year end up successfully fulfilling them. (Source: University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology) I am among the 92% who gave up a great intention this year. The goal was for our whole family to cut out desserts and treats during the week. I admit it was bold as there are treats everywhere during the holiday season, but we went for it. The first few days were pretty easy as I had cleared the house of sweets and we were eating at home. Then came a jam-packed day,

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Taking the Hit as a Gift

The Hit

About three months ago, my husband was unexpectedly laid off.  It was a huge blow for him and our family as we were unprepared for this situation.  However, as the news started to sink in, I found myself strangely happy and relieved.  I saw his layoff as gift; it presented an opportunity for him to find a more positive environment where his skills and expertise would be utilized and he would feel challenged.

My aikido teacher, George Leonard, called this awareness, “taking the hit as a gift.”  At various times in life we all receive “hits.”  They can take the form of injury or accident, relationship struggles, career pitfalls, family crises or disappointments.  Some are more forceful than others.  When we receive the hit and label it as “bad” or “negative” we lose the opportunity to grow.  If we receive the hit and look at it as a “gift” we can open up to the possibility to change a pattern, belief, behavior or relationship in our life that is no longer serving us.  We are empowered by this wake-up-call to act in a way that improves our health and wholeness thus embracing the pain or challenge for what it is…an opportunity.

Here are a couple of ways that you can take your next “hit” as a gift:

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Setting Goals that Stick

Have you ever set a goal in the waning hours of the year that seemed doable at the time, but fizzled out around mid-January?  Something like, “this year I will smile more, spend more time with my friends and be easier on myself” or “this year I will save more money.”  These are all worthy goals, but what do they really mean? Are goals like this serving your growth?  And can you stick to them?

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A Season of Smart Service: How to Avoid Giver Burnout

Are You a Selfless Giver?

This time of year is made for givers with countless opportunities to offer time, money, ideas, skills and cheer. However, after giving thanks, giving gifts and giving toasts we can be left fatigued or burned out. Burnout looks and feels differently for many of us, but for me it typically surfaces with feelings of resentment, lack of interest and sloppy work with little follow-through. If you have a giving personality, you’ve probably felt like this from time to time.

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Reentering the Workforce on Your Terms

Picture this, you have been given a gift of two free days to spend as you would like, without your children or spouse. How would you choose to spend those days?   I would choose to work!  Yes, work is what fuels my soul and how I show up in the world outside of my family.  I, like many people, have a to-do list that is a mile long.  I also have dreams of girl’s weekends with spa treatments.  However, working gives me a place to express my ideas and have my talents validated by that other important thing…money!

Does this sound familiar?

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Testimonials Help Transitions

Fall equinox marks more than the changing of seasons for many parents.  With kids back in school and a solid routine in place, we have more time to take care of ourselves and refocus our energy on our goals. I typically welcome this time to invigorate my coaching practice.  This year, however, as I began planning workshops, speaking engagements and accepting more clients, I felt a sense of doubt that I was still a good coach.

I’ve had doubts about my effectiveness as a coach before and a few public speaking-induced panic attacks, but I can usually quiet these fears with

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Positive Procrastination

My house is never cleaner than when I have something really important to do. I am like a Tasmanian devil of de-cluttering and cleaning. I have a standing excuse that I need an uncluttered environment to think, but deep down I feel more benefits to procrastination than a clean work space. Here are a few:

  • You get to put off unpleasant tasks in favor of more enjoyable things
  • Problems may end up getting solved without any effort from you
  • You can delay challenging decisions to gather more information
  • Open space and time enhance creativity
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Making a Change? Get an Accountability Partner

About six months ago, I was faced with the challenge of how to grow my business through social media. I had just walked out of an inspiring seminar armed with information on Facebook pages, Twitter handles and LinkedIn profiles…I was ready to get to work! But a few weeks later, I had not made any progress toward my goal. I flipped back through my notes from the seminar and found a scrawled notation in the margin: “get an accountability partner!” An accountability partner is someone

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Tips for Parents to Transition into Summer

The warm weather in Marin the last few weeks has created a bit of spring fever. Many of us have already been to the beach and hosted early season barbeques. Fueled by this warm weather and the taste of summer, I decided to begin my summer planning. I opened my calendar and clicked through June filled with recitals, graduations, ceremonies and the last day of regularly scheduled activities. Then came July and August. The open weeks stretched out like blank pages in a writing test booklet. Suddenly, I was facing two months with no plans…help!

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Making Space for Love

Making space for love seems like it should be easy, but often it is not. In love we are present and connected with our partner and feel more fully alive. Unfortunately, in our busy and over-scheduled world presence and connection can get lost. We grow to see our partners as a collection of their faults. When they walk through the door we see, “always late, forgot it was Valentines day, sink full of dirty dishes, etc.”

Our partners are the people who see our true beauty and deserve our best efforts to make space for love. I hope the following tips can help you fall in love again this Valentine’s Day.

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Setting Goals From the Inside Out

I don’t know about you, but when those year-end magazine issues appear on the newsstands, a feeling of dread comes over me. I know that I will begin to look back and assess the year according to what I did or did not get around to. I will review the best and worst moments and feel guilty for time lost or time ill spent.

My feeling of dread really sinks in when I review my to-do list. I find it interesting that the items left undone are those I am not passionate about or invested in. Further, these items are not linked to any of my goals, but put on the list out of a responsibility

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The Sustainable Mom

The Sustainable Mom: Building a Stronger Family Through Self-Care
When I first heard the popular saying, “if a mom is happy the family is happy,” I cringed a bit with a sense of yearning and dread. In theory, I know that I am responsible for creating my own happiness and that if I do not attend to my own needs that my family structure suffers. In practice, I have a difficult time putting my happiness and myself first. I also know that I am not alone in this struggle. I would like to share two of the most common challenges to a mother’s self-care and present some strategies

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